Best Scuba Diving Jokes – Funny Jokes About Scuba Diving You Should Know

Are you looking for some scuba diving jokes to lift up the conversation with your dive buddies? Here are some of the best and funniest scuba diving jokes you should know. Further below, we collected some scuba diving pickup lines, if you really want to give it a go. Some of them are dirty, some of them are quite bad – choose wisely if you don’t want to be solo-diving for the rest of your trip 😉

Why It Can Pay Off to Have Some Scuba Diving Jokes Handy

Divers love to talk about diving. Whether in a dive shop, on a dive boat or at the bar after diving, the conversation is all about scuba diving. To join the conversation and make fellow divers smile, you can never go wrong with telling some funny scuba diving jokes. Some of the more experienced divers may have heard them before, but you will always find new divers who will love your jokes. Therefore, it just makes sense to have some of them handy for your next dive trip.

Best Scuba Diving Jokes

This is a wild collection of some of the best scuba diving jokes out there. Of course, there are many more, and the best ones are those that you come up with yourself. But the jokes below are a great start – and you will always find divers, who have never heard those jokes before. So go ahead and make people laugh!

Just a word of warning: Some of these jokes and puns will come super low… 😉

• What do you call a scuba diver on a skateboard? – A scuba boarder.
• What’s the difference between a scuba instructor and a pizza? – A pizza can feed a family of 4.
• I hate scuba diving. It was the lowest moment of my life.
• What did the sea say to the sand? – Nothing, it just waved!
• What type of Decompression Illness do very wealthy SCUBA divers get? – Mercedes Bends.
• Why Do Scuba Divers Fall Backwards Out of a Boat? – Because otherwise they’d fall into the boat!
• A friend of mine has been offering me free Scuba Diving lessons for years now and has told me we can start next week. – I’m not going to hold my breath.
• Why don’t skeletons tech dive? – They don’t have the guts!
• Being a freediving instructor requires you to teach others how to hold their breath underwater while not using scuba gear. It’s a tankless job.
• My SCUBA instructor always stressed that you should never go diving alone. If you have equipment problems, your buddy can help you. If you run out of air, your buddy can help you. If you meet an aggressive shark, your odds are 50-50 instead of 100%.
• I just took my last dive as a scuba diving instructor. Deep down, I realized it wasn’t for me.
• I once went scuba diving, and had to be treated for “the bends” – It made a decompression on me.
• How do get an octopus to laugh? – Ten tickles.
• When Chuck Norris goes scuba diving he gives the water the bends.
• I had to quit my job as a scuba diving instructor. I couldn’t handle the pressure.
• I used to have a scuba diving business, but it went under.
• How do you know if someone’s a scuba instructor? – Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
• What are your thoughts on diving? – Well, I guess it’s descent as a hobby.
• What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? – A nervous wreck!
• How do divers communicate? – They use speech bubbles.
• What do you get when you combine a scuba diver with a janitor? – Jaques Coustodian!
• Did you hear they crossed a snow man with a shark? – All they got was frost bite!
• Which dog knows how to swim underwater? – Scuba-doo.
• Was out diving once when I heard this wonderful singing. Turned out it was a choral reef.

Scuba Diving Pickup Lines

Next to some of the best scuba diving jokes above, scuba diving pickup lines are of course also a big topic. Let’s be honest, people meet and mingle in the diving world. You will meet great people with a similar passion for the most fun thing in the world. Why not try your luck and who knows, maybe you’ll find the love of your life. Having a scuba diver as a partner will come with a lot of benefits:

• It will make your dives better. Whether this comes from a deeper trust level or from a more natural communication or whatever else.
• Sharing the same passion and spending some of the best moments of your life together, doing what you both love most, is simply awesome.
• No more discussions on what the next travel is going to be about – you will certainly agree on scuba vacations.

Unfortunately, there is no Tinder for scuba divers, so you will need a good first point to get the conversation going. Having some good scuba diving pickup lines at hand may be the first step. To be honest, some of them are cheesy, some of them are dirty. But that’s what pickup lines are like – maybe you get a smile in return! Please note that we are not liable for any broken masks, black eyes or other damage incurred 😉

Pickup Lines about Marine Life

• Can I be the clownfish to your anemone?
• Are you an octopus? Because you octopi my thoughts.
• If you lived underwater, you’d be an angelfish.
• Let’s goby somewhere alone.
• Kiss me if I’m wrong, but megalodons still exist, right?
• Somebody call Neptune, he’s missing an angelfish!
• Are you an electric eel? Because you light up the ocean.

Pickup Lines about Equipment

• I’m no underwater photographer, but I can picture us together.
• Care to do an equipment inspection?
• Feel my wetsuit, it’s made of girlfriend/boyfriend material.
• My dive watch is broken, can I have a little of your time?
• We’re not fins, but we’d make a great pair.
• You can always count on the divemaster to make sure you’re turned on.

Pickup Lines about Body Parts

• Your eyes are like the ocean and I’m lost at sea.
• Are your legs tired? You’ve been swimming through my mind all night.
• Yarrr, that’s the finest booty I’ve ever seen.
• I’m either bent or in love, sweetheart, because when I see you I get all tingly.

Pickup Lines about Safety

• I need emergency oxygen, because you just took my breath away.
• Can you navigate on this dive? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
• You’d better stay away from the compressor room. You’re so hot you’re on fire!
• Would you like to see my special buddy breathing technique?

Word of Caution

Scuba diving jokes are a great way to join the conversation in a dive shop or on a dive boat and get to know many new friends. And while some of these jokes are classics, you will surely meet people who have never heard of them.

With pickup lines, you may need to be a little bit more cautious. To be honest, most of these pickup lines are daring. You can try your luck, and maybe you’ll get a smile in return. If you want to play it safely, why don’t you ask whether the other person needs a dive buddy? You can never go wrong with that.